will I die or live

well here it is a day before Christmas again . all by my self. I have work and live a hole life to end up depress and deprive on having a retirement at 55, what worse i am getting sick again. you can't live with stress for 11 years and not get sick. The Government will not pay for my heart pile any more, my doctor did not do a thing for me on December 20/2007, I am just a burden to my Family, I guest they hope i pass on some, hard to live with out a dream.